Return
by Tomo Potter
Summary: After long, tiring years away, Sirius is returning home, to lay low at Lupin's.  RLSB, fluff.


A/N: I call this an extremely dubious venture. I always try to avoid writing right before November, but holy shit I FEEL SO BAD FOR HARDLY POSTING ALL YEAR. I have been working and crying and trying hard to get myself healthy again, and sadly fanfiction time just hasn't figured in the scheme of things.

This will **DEFINITELY BE A ONE-OFF. ** I have to focus on my NaNoWriMo novel for next month, and I just don't have the time or focus to work on anything long. This is just a little writing piece I'm sticking together to say a big apology for being the queen of absences and warm myself up for next month. After November I'll try to get back into the habit of writing regularly, and actually READING fanfiction - not having the time to read fanfiction and take in the amazing inspiration our wonderful fandom produces is what's really killed me in the end… Without the rest of you I just can't find any of the stories inside myself. (_Let's take it on together, we're stronger and we're better, and if there's a problem, ha, WHATEVER!_) I apologize for my out-of-practice-ness though. I have hardly strung two words together all year… most of my time has sort of passed in a haze of antidepressants and tiredness. THIS IS NOT UP TO MY USUAL STANDARD.

What I REALLY have to do in this big ol' intro of mine though is APOLOGISE ENORMOUSLY to EVERYONE who was reading 30 Days! That one was NOT my fault. It's the second laptop that's died on me in recent times and I'm bloody sick of this. I'm gonna use my birthday money getting it fixed, and HOPEFULLY I'll be able to retrieve all the writing I had on there and get 30 Days going again. I don't want to just keep going from what's already posted because I had like, three more chapters waiting for a proofread on my laptop -_- I'm so sorry everyone, please be patient with me and I GUARANTEE that one way or another, I WILL finish 30 Days. It won't suffer the same fate as Brotherhood, dammit!

Warning: Adorableness, gay, cute, yay!

Disclaimer: If I owned them, do you think Remus would be DEAD? Or MARRIED?

PS; I'm EIGHTEEN on Thursday. For reals. It's weirding me out. I guess you could call this a my birthday present to all

**Return**

"Lay low at Lupin's."

Dumbledore's cryptic advice had been all Sirius needed to hear, before taking off. Immediately after their reunion, leaving the country had seemed like Sirius' best option; it was safest for him, keeping as far from the Aurors as possible. It was safest for Harry and Dumbledore; the further murderous Sirius Black was from them the less questions they would face. (Or so he hoped.) And it was safest for Remus. Sirius hadn't tried to figure out how it was safest for Remus, but it was. Truth be told, the idea of a reunion that wasn't fueled by adrenaline and decade old secrets terrified Sirius a thousand times more than any police, or even the threat of Dementors. Even though Remus knew he was innocent now, there were still conversations to be had; things that had to be addressed, no matter how much Sirius didn't want to.

The last time they had seen each other, before all the horror that destroyed everything for thirteen years, it had been one of the most heartwrenching days of Sirius' life. The night beforehand Remus had shown up in the middle of the night, creeping into the flat he and Sirius shared alone since James moved into his parents' old house with Lily.

-_Flashback_

_"Remus?" Sirius called sleepily, lifting his head off the pillow a fraction of a centimeter. "Where you been?"_

_"I was at the pub, Sirius. With Peter. I've been thinking things through, Sirius… we need to talk." Remus said softly, slipping off his rain-soaked jacket and sitting down on the bed next to Sirius. "We need to talk now."_

_"Are you drunk, Remus?" Sirius asked in alarm, sitting up and wincing at the sting of cold air against his bare torso. "You are. You've been drinking."_

_"I'm not drunk!" Remus protested a little too loudly, proving Sirius' point. "I'm not. I've just been thinking things through."_

_"Remus, this can wait until morning. I can smell firewhiskey on your breath. Just wait until morning, please. We can talk about whatever's bothering you then, and you'll be more sober and I'll be more awake and then we can discuss things." Sirius pleaded, and placed a hand gently on his lover's thigh, heart breaking a little when Remus pulled away from him, brushing the hand away._

_"No, Sirius. No waiting. This isn't working. I… god, I'm so sorry. But I can't do this anymore." A single tear trickled from Remus' eye, glinting in the light streaming in from the open doorway. _

_"Remus… no… Remus, don't say that. Don't. You're drunk." Sirius heard the pleading emerge from his mouth without his brain telling it to, without so much as feeling his tongue brush against his numb palate._

_"I've been thinking about it for a long time. You're just… you're never here. I've hardly seen you for a year now. I can't handle this anymore."_

_"So because you've seen so little of me you've decided to see none of me? Remus, this isn't something to break up over, this is something we need to fix!" Sirius reached out again, and Remus pushed him away. They were both crying now, neither one wanting to see five years of love come to an end. _

_"No, Sirius. It isn't just that. It's a million things. But I just can't handle being in half a relationship anymore."_

_"Don't you love me?" Sirius half-gasped, half-whimpered, unable to control his voice in the flow of emotion._

_"I… It's…" Remus was stumped, the light from the door again catching his glistening face as he looked away from Sirius._

_"I love you, Remus. I love you so much, even when you're drunk, even when you're a wolf, I love every single bit of you. I worship the bloody cup you sip tea from, Remus, you can't do this. Please. I need you. You're the best part of me."_

_Remus rose from the bed, shaking, and Sirius actually heard him choke back a sob. "I'm so sorry, Sirius. I'm sorry." Trembling, he left the room, and Sirius was alone… so alone, with the silence. _

Thirteen years had passed since that painful night, and they had seen each other three times since. Remus had been at Sirius' trial, nothing more than a blurry, tear-streaked face in the crowd, but he had been there nonetheless. Remus had visited him once in Azkaban, and neither of them had spoken a word to one another. In his blurry cell of despair Sirius had interpreted it as a goodbye; nothing more. And then there had been that chaotic night in the Shrieking shack, where things had happened too quickly for them to exchange a single word with any meaning. Remus had hugged him though; Remus had _hugged him_, and that meant everything to Sirius. It meant all was forgiven. Thirteen years of mistrust were gone.

Sirius' paws skidded against the gravelly ground as he slid to a halt outside the only place Remus could possibly be. His first instinct was to visit the apartment they had shared when they were just twenty… so young, so innocent. Remus wouldn't have stayed there though; he would have moved on as soon as possible. He had sniffed around, followed a few scent trails, and quickly realized the only other place Remus could ever afford to live; his parents' old house.

It was a long run and a bit of a swim, but finally Lupin Cottage came into view, and Sirius was unable to restrain a howl of joy. He sprang back into action, bounding down the path , and as he ran a familiar, but immensely more ragged face appeared in the open doorway, filled first with confusion, then lit afire with a joy Sirius had dreamed about for years. Suddenly, the running speed that had seemed so fast before seemed far, far too slow as Sirius dashed the last couple of meters to the open arms of the man he had dreamed about for thirteen dead years in prison.

Finally, he leaped, transforming in midair, and the two fell to the ground in a tumble of arms and hugging and dirt and tears.

"You could have not transformed while lunging at me." Remus choked, voice thick with dust and crying.

"No I couldn't." Sirius teased, unable to help himself from licking Remus' cheek lovingly. Two years as a dog did things to you.

"Sirius, I…" Remus said, and Sirius cut him off with a kiss; a desperate, dirt-caked, loving kiss of two people separated for far too long.

"I don't care anymore. It doesn't matter." Sirius wept unashamedly, cupping Remus' face in his hands and kissing the scars and tears. "Nothing matters any more. I love you so much."

"God, Sirius, I love you too. I've missed you so much."


End file.
